"Life is like a book we haven't yet read - we don't know what's in store for us; we don't know what's yet to come in 5, 10, 20 years." That is one of the many lines that I used to always use in my high school essays - to be honest I had overused this line so bad. And it's funny how it just popped up in my mind just a few days ago when I had this little Skype get-together with my high school besties whom I haven't seen in flesh for quite some time now. It's really refreshing how they have shaken my dull Sunday routine up. And with "refreshing" it's also actually kind of sad that we barely see other now, hardly even talk, when we used to be together almost every single day of the week. We were practically brothers and sisters, even more if you'd ask me because we hardly fight and when we do, it's over hilarious matters. We're like puzzle pieces that perfectly fit each other when pieced together. Our friendship was that harmonious. We were that close. Days before our graduation, I'd be on the verge of tears just by thinking that sooner or later I won't be sharing my everyday with these crazy creatures. And turned out we were all thinking the same: one day we were spending our free time like we normally do and then one of us just started weeping, out of the blue, and one began to sob after the other. It was a domino effect. Nobody said a word. Until we saw each other's crying faces and then we just laughed and laughed. Life without them used to seem impossible, but like the late Nelson Madela said "It's always impossible until it's done."
It still saddens me a little that we had to go on different tracks, live different lives. On second thought, I'm overjoyed to see them all titled and successful - one is a promising career woman, one is an engineer, one is a Certified Public Accountant, and one is a Registered Nurse (and on his way to becoming a doctor). My smart, successful best friends. I couldn't be any prouder of them, for now at least. They are all smart and successful, and they seem to have figured their lives out. And then it hit me: I'm still in bits and pieces. Every time I ask myself what exactly I want to do with my life, I'm always lost for an answer, which is ironic since I always was the assertive one in the group. Now I'm majoring something, doing another thing and wanting something else. I've been mishmashing things all the time, it feels like playing Snakes and Ladders and always landing at the tip of the snake's head. It's frustrating at times, yes, though I learned to love how carefree my life is now. In fact, I think I enjoy how my life's insouciance kind of unsettles me sometimes. It's weird but I know, I just know, I'll be able to miraculously build a solid path that I so unconditionally would love to take.
OOTD: Bits and pieces of all the things I love! Lace, bow, polka-dots and pearls in one outfit. And yes, that's my favorite necklace. ♥